One thing that really discouraged me to be a religious person, I have a problem when a religion talks about ritual this and that, and those rituals become the strict line between heaven and hell, or some testimony of faith can be a simply differentiation between heaven and hell, I have a lot of friends and there are so many good people they do have faiths but their religion is not my religion, my mind and heart starts to question and question where they belong? And at this point I have no satisfying answer for such question.
To be real is to suffer.
Unless we gain the ability to suffer, we’ll never be real, once we embrace and experience suffering then we become real.
Becoming real means becoming true to Yourself, aligning your being in this Earth.
(These words come from my experience from nowhere Friday morning)
On a trip again, here I’m writing, it comes to my realisation, from where my sadness come, the words: “never eat alone” really strikes my emotion, I’ve just realised how sad I am in every meal I have, after I shared my life story in somewhere and sometime in Vietnam, I realised that I spent most of my meals when I was kid alone, in fact people provided me food, but rarely a company, it really feels so hard to talk every time I have meal appointments, because I used to talk with the food than people.
On something and every thing,
Now I’m the president, of a community called Initiatives of Change, a community that aims to promote change starts with oneself, but somehow I was feeling that I lost my passion, direction, and guidence, I’ve been driven by different windy winds,
Some clouds need to be cleared, very soon, however I’m still excited and enthusiast with this word: LOVE.
Let time thicken everything (Lincoln).
And life goes on, goes on, goes on, new updates, new movements, new actions hide the old updates, old movement, old actions, for sure I can’t digest them all, and for sure if my brain can’t work anymore, and my heart can’t work anymore, just let time thicken everything, thicken your love, thicken my love, except all my hatred. And I love you, timelessly. MMmuach!
It was my second journey to Caux, this time I came there with Huda, a friend of mine, coming there is like coming home and heaven, somehow it’s too and very beautiful, and I managed to climb up to the Rocher de Naye for the second time without feeling tired, I said a lot of thanks for my daily running training it really helps to keep my fitness, for sure I didn’t fast for around 5 days, and the rest I tried to keep fasting the days after, however during the fasting period I was struggling with my mind and heart since I kept questioning my mind and heart, for what reason I fast? for God? for my self? because during I fast, I felt separated from the rest of people there, because most of the conversation happened during meals time, such questions, like for what reason I have a religion? if it only separated me to the rest of people in the world? and at that time I heard in my country there were a conflict again in the name of religion, I love and like the word unity than separation, and at some point I prefer to call my self a traveler of Spirituality than being a Religious person, for me Spirituality means unity to other people, and still a lot of questions on faith commute in my mind and heart.
Before participating at Global Assembly, I participated in the Dynamics of Being Change Makers Conference, during the course I choose the Foundations for Freedom Learning Track, one of the reason why I joined this Learning Track was, I wanted to challenge my self, because before I heard a lot that women in Eastern Europe IofC teams took more roles than men, and I wanted to experience that, because sometime for me, it’s hard to fully accept women’s leadership, but during the course what I experience was that what I witnessed was a leadership not by men or women, but by human, I saw leadership without distinction, leadership is a leadership it has no gender, and I’m really impressed to the testimony of one my Ukrainian friend, one of the facilitator, her name is Angela Starovoytova, yes it was my first time I saw a lady cried because of : she found God in her life, I’m really impressed by her leap of faith, and how she experience God, normally I saw a lot of people cries because of materials, relationship, family, disasters or other human things, yes I’m impressed.
Global Assembly, coming to Global Assembly I was assigned by our team to share about our local programs here, and our recent project, building a center for training for IofC Indonesia, and my own mission there was to link the local initiatives here in Indonesia with the global initiatives, also understanding and comprehending IofC as a whole, it’s like understanding spirituality and complexity in the same time, in the spiritual context, it allows every single of us to have our own understanding towards the movement, also in this context IofC is very, very rich, there are a lot of stories that needed to be shared and offered to the world! and in another context which are institution, organisation, network or whatever you may call it, this movement is still in ongoing process to evolve itself to the best form to serve its people within the movement, and yes it should evolve beyond efficiency, which is, for me is resilience.
This journey to Caux is very special for me, because this time I came with Huda, to be fully, and fully working in a real team it’s always challenging for me, because it involves working together, compromises to be made, and I’ve just realised that it’s our first journey together, the main highlight for me is to accept and acknowledge that each of us are unique and each other has challenges that needed to be overcome.
I’m a hug collector, as a hug collector, here in Caux I feel I can find and share my treasure in it: a trust, for me hugging is one of the brightest sign of trust, and trust, of course it’s halal! Imagine if all people in the world can hug each other, imagine how the world would look like.
Today there were two hugs in the morning, from Russia and India 🙂 , I feel like I’m being trusted by the World.
I’ve just settled in Caux! I did my first morning running, and having shower and feeling no more jet lag, jet lag is only in the perception and excuses, and mood too! I feel much more energised this time, yes I’ve just moved from my physical and emotional uncomfortable zone, a tiny island in East Java called Madura, nothing wrong with places, but what I felt last time was pressure, less spiritual, judgements, alienated, and enough, I want to clear that all now, I meet the world that I want to see here now!
Welcome to Caux, and let me counts my blessings in different hugs, Nigel Heywood, Jose Carlos Leon Vargas, Hsu Shoufeng, Mike and Jean Brown, Hsiao Yun, Adriana Borra, Kimanthi…yes that the hugs.
Yes I do like hugging because our physical and spiritual heart can get closer. I’ll update you with more hugs!